working things out

it has been 13 months since i finished my 365.
10 months since we lost my grams.
9 months since my oldest son moved back home, along with his son.
8 months since my youngest son moved out.

there are moments it feels things just come at you from all sides. then there are other moments when you are dealing with the aftershocks...
its been less than easy.
lots of peeks and valleys.
lots of moments where i was lost for words of wisdom.
many times all i could say is "i know this sucks, but it will get better".
(not really knowing if it would... luckily it did, get better that is)
riding out the storms, preparing for the next wave...

a year ago i would have never imagined the change in events.
the nice part about time and distance is once your on the other side, you have the ability to look back and appreciate making it through another bumpy patch.
the beautiful mess i call my life
:)
perfectly imperfect.
embracing the process. showing up, trying hard, making the most of what you have. learning along the way.
focusing less on the end results and more on the moments leading up to it.

i feel like i have aged a decade in a few short months. 

wondering.

wishing.

wanting.

hoping.

dreaming.

believing.

laughing.

crying.

doubting.

stretching.

wash.rinse.repeat.

spring has came around once again. the change of seasons. i am grateful the grey clouds have disappeared. appreciating the blue skies and sunshine a little more. the weather is still a bit chilly but i'm looking forward to the resting place of lazy mornings filled with sunshine and a warm breeze. i have heard many times "this too shall pass". often you hear this when times are bad. realizing this applies to good times.

the best way to make it through the less than happy days... relax-breathe-surrender.

the best way to make it through the better than happy days... relax-breathe-surrender. 

success, for me, is when i can see it WAS as bad as i thought it was, and things turned out beautifully anyway :)

so for now, in this moment i measure "where i've been" with "how many times i showed up". taking chances. leaping, rather than looking down. with only one question on my mind...

"lets see what happens."