stopping and starting

why i do what i do and why i stopped. most important, why i'm starting again.

i have been writing in notebooks for more years than i haven't. i have filled pages with history, fears, dreams, stories, day to day ramblings. i have lost or burned journals over the years. in 2010 i wanted to find all the notebooks i had stashed through out my house. it scared me to have my thoughts collected in one place. i write to remember, to process, to share secrets with no one in particular. i write so i don't wear out my friends or family with my perseverating thoughts. in 2012 i worked on embracing moments. not running away from them. not overlooking them. not missing them. just trying to experience them. while i was embracing i got lost. lost in my own mind. thoughts were lost. ideas squelched. inspiration over looked. i was busy just trying to keep up with the many moments that happened. what i learned, you can't love every moment. no matter how hard you strive for it. i also learned its okay and who really cares anyway. i got lost in just being in the moments-good/bad/ugly. then i found myself more vulnerable than i have ever been. my voice felt as though it had no substance.  i didn't write/photograph/express... i also found beauty in all of this. i didn't hide or make excuses. i went with the waves of the universe. i appreciated the year. having gratitude for the many highs and lows day to day life gave me. funny that i didn't record all of this. not funny ha ha just funny strange. i started dozens of descriptions of 2012 events but finished only a handful. i guess this was my own private journey. that is why i stopped. it wasn't planned. its just the way the year unfolded.

the new year has began. day three. my life is still busy and stressful. i have more on my plate than i would like. so i decided 2013 will be about simplifying. to make simpler or easier to do or understand. to make uncomplicated. my goal is to make room for amazing new things. i've started several new projects. i'm not ready to share them just yet, but i will soon i promise. i have been compiling a list of things i want to accomplish. for now i just want to wish my friends and family warm wishes of love and peace. may you all have just enough.