trying

holy crap where did february go? its a little month i know, but hell! i have debated all week wether or not to put its picture on a milk carton.

i am trying to catch up, keep up, hold up, chin up (breathe monyka and remember your freakin' word). my word sucks by the way and to say i'm struggling with it would be an understatement. i am really trying but find myself kicking and screaming and stomping my feet when i'm not digging in my heels... no judgement alright, i'm being honest here.  its a work in progress. simply complicating ANYTHING out of NOTHING is a talent i possess!

so where to go from here? i will continue to try. taking inventory of the changes i have made, and looking myself in the eye and saying "what you are doing is enough." maybe i should try to stand on my head again, in the spirit of changing my perspective (not gonna lie, i'm a little scared though).

below is a list of things i've noticed.
i have simply:

• NOT bought paper towels for almost a year.
• spent at least 15 minutes daily on the mat.
• went to vegas.
• seen p!nk.
• set a goal to see 13 shows in 2013 (dave matthews is on the list).
• danced in my bedroom while playing my air drums and guitar.
• stood on one foot, patted my head and rubbed my belly to see if i still could.
• found myself watching and listening to 80's movies and music.
• taken daily self portraits and journaled.
• continued to go grey (this is harder than it sounds)
• wondered when i will clear out my closets lol
• looked fear straight it the eye, dropped the eff-bomb, then pushed through it.
• stopped trying so hard :)

considering we are in the third month (with a missing one in the middle) not too shabby.

I just remind myself about the nike campaign of "just do it."

i loved this commercial!