Playing in the rain

Day 1 of Creativity Boot Camp

My two week adventure to get in touch with my artistic side.

Day 1: Ivory

Even though the elephant is made from mahogany, it did come from Africa. A gift from my children's grandparents some years ago.

Uneducated vs educated

I’m sure there are many things and people who come to mind when you hear these words. For me uneducated is everyone at any given time that hasn’t experienced something or been given a heads up. In the game called life we are working to get an education… Often we sell ourselves short thinking we have the answers. I laugh only because my ideals are fading and reality is setting in... We learn from many facets of our life, ONLY if we are willing, only if we are teachable. Education isn’t just from books, field work, or only from having life “experience”… With the season of graduation in full swing I can only hope the “students” receiving their diplomas realize their “education” doesn’t stop with the hand shake and reposition of a tassel… My hope is there will be less “educated idiots” and more teachable human beings! I have met brilliant “stupid” people and “dummies” who were brilliant. I have been taught by people who have IQ’s in the genius margin of a test and also by the lower than average IQ of that same test. My point is, if your willing, if your teachable, you can learn something that will forever help you reach that “educated” state.

My week has been filled with many lows and highs, many frustrations and junctures of triumph. I am focused on accepting limitations, and appreciating the quiet moments to recharge the battery so that I may have the energy to continue the necessary fights.

An interesting week

Having my “game face” on, I made it through another week. When your not feeling on top of your game one tends to have trouble keeping up (at least that’s how I feel). I had some interesting conversations this week, which provoke more thoughts and feelings. I’m all about rules, I also think the rules need to be “updated” staying true to the reason behind them in the first place. I have been consumed with thoughts of time, and calendars and seasons. Change is all round us, and everyone has an opinion about it. So did the Mayans not finish the calendar because it was the end? Or was it simply knowing things change? Seriously, winter isn’t really lining up with what it says on the calendar as well as any of the other seasons. Why is it when there are changes happening most humans focus on the doom and gloom rather than looking at things as a child and being excited to see what happens next? Is this all self preservation, or means of control?

Life has been interesting this week. With Interns and earthquakes, warranty work turning into auto body issues. Questions with responsibilities and accountability. I have been pondering the thought of excuses… What is the difference between excuse and mere fact? Excuses versus reasons? My father used to always tell me “right is always right and wrong is always wrong. Excuses are like assholes everybody’s got one”. Going through this game called life I have determined its not so clear cut. This could also be me just sitting on the fence, having yet to make a decision (making excuses). I try to be thoughtful, drawing a conclusion rather than jumping to one.

(taken Tuesday morning)

What a difference a week can make! Has the spring really sprung?

(taken Sunday morning)

39 things

39 things you may or may not want to know.

1. I hate camping (my idea of roughing it is a hotel without room service!)
2. I hate black ice (winters can be rough and black ice is SOOOOOOO dangerous!)
3. I hate folding socks! (I have a sock basket and match as needed)
4. I hate super hot food! (I like spicy and warm but as a kid I hated it all.  My taste buds have changed over the years…)
5. I hate carelessness… and the ill effects it causes
6. I’m terrified of spiders! (over the years I have gotten braver but they still make me squeal)
7. I’m still scared of something happening to my Boys (I have since added Max and Syd to my list) I get that our bodies are on loan to us, however as a parent… I pray that lot isn’t mine!
8. I’m scared of not having the answer… I’m used to being resourceful and I love to problem solve, the older I get I can feel myself slipping.
9. I used to be scared of the dark and had a nightlight in my room for MANY years… I have since learned to appreciate the dark and I’m glad of that.
10. I love to laugh (hence all the laugh lines that hug my eyes). Letting go of my vanity has been a bittersweet journey. I have visions of  being the Grammy with laugh lines so deep…
11. I love to cause laughter and feeling the energy it creates! (good stuff right there)
12. I love having funny dreams and waking up giggling!
13. I love being a mother (I measure my success as  a mother  by watching my Boys… when they open a door for a stranger, when they give of themselves with no level of expecting something in return, witnessing my  boys being supportive brothers,  becoming role models to others)
14. I love treasure (most of  my treasures have no monetary value… the majority of my “gold” are memories I have)
15. I love heated conversation (I’m not referring to arguments… I appreciate passion and rather I agree with the other person is irrelevant. I love to feel the power of  belief(s) and the ability to voice it respectfully)
16. I love music and the power it possesses… how a song can catapult you  back to a moment in time. How a melody can put a smile on your face or a  beat can cause you to uncontrollably tap your foot, drum your fingers or force you to stand and dance)
17. I love the feeling of family… (how I appreciate the security you feel when your family rally’s around to offer support, guidance, and love)
18. I love daisies. They are the most simple and happiest flower. The peddles have often  been used to draw conclusions… They love me, they love me not
19. I love pasta, plain, with  butter and garlic, with red sauce and white sauce…
20. I love fruit’s and veggies‘! Even as a kid I would prefer a plate of fresh fruit and vegetables as apposed to meat!
21. I love katsup… for whatever reason I have always thought that red sauce was magical and could make ANYTHING taste  better!
22. I LOVE carrot cake!!! If I knew who invented it I would totally kiss them right on their talker!!
23. I love history… Not the kind you would necessarily find in books, but the history you have created with the people who have loved you enough to stick around
24. I love the smell of the morning following a good hard rain
25. I love the smell of puppy  breath
26. I love the smell of freshly cut grass
27. I love the smell of baby lotion and powder on a new born
28. I love the rebel side of people and have long since respected the individuals that are unafraid to go against the grain of things
29. I love a hot bath or shower and the effects it has on my body
30. I love fairytales and the magical idea of Happily Ever After
31. I love the concept of super heroes… and all the groovy accessories!!
32. I love perspective… life tends to have to hit me over the head sometimes to help me see it. However when you are willing… growth can  be immeasurable
33. I love shiny things… I’m not really sure the reasoning behind this, but when things sparkle there is just something magical about them
34. I love the acts of giving… rather the recipient is aware of it, knows the guilty party, or even if its unappreciated… To give is an incredible gift, and NEVER fails to grow
35. I’m thankful for the gift of hope… I have been told my entire life having hope is powerful, giving hope is immense
36. I’m thankful for time… however much you get, I’m thankful for it, and try not to waste it
37. I’m thankful for enough… I have never really been a MORE type of person, I have a huge appreciation for having JUST enough!
38. I am thankful for the many love taps God has given me… A lot of them have felt  more like a God Smack which usually leaves a mark, but when your hard headed and stubborn a tap just doesn’t do the job
39. I have a love/hate feeling for change… I am learning not to fear it so much, and am able to see the importance of it!

So the closer I get to forty the more I realize I'm OLD! It's all good really. When I was kid I thought thirty was OLD, but changed my mind mid twenties! I have few regrets in my life (not to say I don't have any) the mistakes I have made... I tend to make them over and over again. Reason for that maybe some mistakes are just plain FUN! lol I have a few favorite mistakes but given the chance of a do over, I might side step it all together ;) Others it was a light bulb malfunction... either way this is has been quite the adventure. I have been pondering the thought of making a forties list, but I don't want to push the whole list issue seeing how I have a difficult time with them (lists that is).

Recess

When I was young, I believed recess was the best part of school. I remember the day I found out Junior High didn't have it! My older sister was the messenger, and I was devastated... I think thats were life turned for the worst! Do you remember when it was PUNISHMENT to miss recess? I do, I can remember a teacher making me stay in because I was talking (go figure). One should have several times a day to PLAY, it should still be expected. Rather you were the kids playing soccer, or monopolizing the monkey bars.... life lessons were all about jumping from the swing, MID swing... 

test

Time keeps slipping away… I think the analogy of life being like a roll of toilet paper is right on the money. ;) I have never really been into bathroom product philosophy, but its fitting. The days have been flying by, and it seems I’m weeks behind on everything. I took the next week off just to regroup, having lots of ideas but nothing really planed and its fine by me. I have been reading Tommyland, I guess its my badboy addiction I have had since I realized boys weren’t icky! Reading about them is far better than dating them lol.

I have started a new obsession. I’ve always been a shutter bug, now I have some equipment to feed into my passion. I bought a Nikon DSLR with some great lenses… Discovering this new adventure is a bit pricy going into, but what the hell. I have taken over a thousand pictures in twenty-four hours, and at the end of 48 (hours) I realize I will be putting many miles on this fun little toy of mine. Understanding exposure is a pain in the ass, and when I have it on “auto” I feel like a cheater. Using both seems to help my frustration. One of my good bad characteristics is I’m a perfectionist (I say the word through my teeth). I’m learning the importance of second glances, and there is a difference between capturing a moment, and creating one. In life I’ve always known the difference, but with photography, it brings this to a WHOLE new level (not to mention its very unforgiving). I have also decided that too many options can be over stimulating. Its not like 31 flavors (Baskin Robins). You see with ice cream you have a general idea of what flavor will satisfy your palate. With photography, you just have so many options, and then there is editing… causing stimulation overload. I’m trying to keep it simple, and staying with only a few (hundred) ideas, and then I will build upon them one step at a time. Have you ever started something and wished you knew all there was to know? Typically one should see it as an adventure, but there are some things I feel you should already have a knowledge base… Anyway.

The boys are doing well. Caz started taking college classes (proud momma in the house). Chase has been working out of town lots, so Syd has been holding down the fort. Max is talking up a storm, and my new favorite word he says is “Poopy”. It cracks me up! I got to see the Kimpossible, and what I meant to be a quick visit turned into conversations ending at two in the morning, me borrowing Lina Lou’s glasses and contact solution, and sleeping on her couch covered by some of Hunter’s blankets. When I woke up I heard someone in the bathroom. I went into Kims room to see if it was her or not and I scared the living crap out of her… I laughed so hard I ended up on the floor with tears running down my face! That will be a great funny to have in the memory bank, if I’m needing something to instantly make me laugh out loud!

Andy Rooney said it best “That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes." So don’t listen to Mr. Wipple, life would not be fun if you didn't squeeze the Charmin