2013 has been a process of simplifying. attempting to silence the noise that goes on (and ON) between my ears. when i first set my "word project" in motion i had visions of organization, with things color coded and alphabetized in cute baskets... if you're organized (in a less than diagnosable OCD kinda way) things can be simple, right?! the calendar says we are cruising through july and although i am moving into the direction of simplicity, it has NOTHING to do with organization. i laugh because i'm learning to simply relax and allow the process to unfold... for a control freak like me its painful-in a bigger than a headache more like loosing a limb sorta way.
for 42 years and 9 months i have lived with my family. for the very first time in my entire life i have ALL the space to myself. in this 'new' space i'm relearning the basics - shopping, cooking and cleaning are a whole new experience. when you're accustomed to feeding hearty appetites with opinions of whats for dinner you find yourself without direction or the strangeness of cleaning the house and it staying that way minus the dog hair julius leaves everywhere. my sons check on their momma regularly, giving me a whole new appreciation for the close knit family i've created.
"extra" time... more uncharted territory. for now, i practice relaxation and in those moments contemplate the next chapter of my story. during this stillness i've noticed the noise-the weird pressure i attempt to put myself under. thoughts of "what you REALLY should be doing right now is ___________" (fill in the blank) ---- causing unnecessary anxiety. so, for now the goal is to silence the noise. leaning into this very moment, as i am both mourning the end of a chapter and excitedly/affectionately/nervously approach the beginning of a new. choosing to be present. having no agenda during this time of simple pleasures.
"extra" time... more uncharted territory. for now, i practice relaxation and in those moments contemplate the next chapter of my story. during this stillness i've noticed the noise-the weird pressure i attempt to put myself under. thoughts of "what you REALLY should be doing right now is ___________" (fill in the blank) ---- causing unnecessary anxiety. so, for now the goal is to silence the noise. leaning into this very moment, as i am both mourning the end of a chapter and excitedly/affectionately/nervously approach the beginning of a new. choosing to be present. having no agenda during this time of simple pleasures.
2013 vision board
