we've never been fifty before

i am having feelings about this. my older sister is knocking on fifty candles. i'm having more feelings than i ever thought i would. shit. (more like "SHIT!")

i have a confession to make to my sister. i totally took off your birthday week :)

all of my life i have been her sister. all of it. every single day. she had four years, five months and 29 days all by herself -poor thing ;). i love you maude. i'm glad you were fist, even though i didn't always feel that way :)

forty nine things:

1. she taught me how to keep a secret
2. she tried to inspire me to be tidy
3. she told me i was adopted
4. she told me she was adopted
5. she protected me
6. she made fun of me
7. she laughed at me
8. she laughed with me
9. she stuck up for me
10. she always got the cooler stuff (remember that glow in the dark sand thing-yeah mine didn't glow in the dark)
11. she hated when they dressed us alike (i thought it was great)
12. she wouldn't let me love leif garrett OR shaun cassidy
13. she almost always did things before me
14. she taught me not to wear eyeliner in the wet line (i rebelled for a couple of years but eventually took her advice)
15. i was her maid of honer in her fist marriage
16. she was my maid of honer in my second wedding
17. she used to sing to me with a round brush
18. she took me to my first adult doctors appointment
19. she helped me through the awkward teenage years
20. she helped me through heartache and heartbreak 
21. she wished she wore glasses (i HAD to wear glasses)
22. she wished she had braces on her teeth (i HAD to wear braces on my teeth)
23. i threatened her, she better not want to be in a wheelchair EVER
24. she helped me clean the house when dad thought if i'm home SICK from school i might as well do something
25. she normalized things for me growing up
26. she made me an aunt
27. she sent packages in the mail when i made her an aunt
28. she helped me be a new momma over the phone
29. she made things "okay" just by saying "pup, its okay"
30. she never made fun of me when i wanted to be a belly dancer
31. she could always eat hotter food than me-always
32. she could always cook better than me-always
33. she helped me to be braver
34. she sometimes loved when i would say things she was thinking
35. she fed me spiritually when i was starving
36. she used to steal my sweaters and shrink them to fit her
37. she still apologizes to me about the sweater thing
38. she helped me rise above
39. she borrowed me her kids to manny for me in the summer
40. we talked everyday when our dad was diagnosed with cancer
41. we helped each other laugh during really dark days
42. we are still amazed growing up in the same house how we can be so different
43. we always appreciate when we notice the aspects we are exactly the same
44. she made special trips to my house to take care of me
45. she helps me never feel alone
46. she gets why i burn incense in january
47. we got to witness each other being grandmas
48. we were honored to serve and take care of our grandma
49. we have mostly liked being sisters :)

 we have been through lots. i love you maude! happy very last day of 49!!