i woke up this morning to the bright light of the full moon shining through my window (3:30 am-yeah this time change has my internal clock jacked up).
i really wish we could just move the clocks 30 minutes and leave it there! ya know, split the difference (i think this is my middle child approach to fixing things lol).
2011 has been an amazing year, filled with all sorts of extremes. lots and lots of highs- lots and lots of lows. the universe has a way of keeping things balanced, although when your standing too close, the lows tend to be difficult to see past...
(at least it had been for me)
there has been many of years i thought i was doing good if i could just breathe, and keep my feet moving. it wasn't until recently direction was introduced.
it happened over a friendly conversation, and from that moment i remind myself -when you are struggling to move your feet, it may mean ya need to ask for directions!
One would think breathing is easy... fill your lungs-empty your lungs [repeat]. the past several months i have been faithfully practicing yoga (i say practicing cause if you have ever done yoga thoughts of "how the hell am i supposed to bend like that?" fills your mind).
so i stopped worrying about technique and picked a starting point. with each new morning it becomes easier. listening to my body, adjusting, breathing... ah yes, i was talking about breathing! this is when i discovered i hold my breath (A LOT) and NOT just when practicing the ancient exercise. i realized i have difficulty letting go of the breaths i take. breathe in and breathe OUT. so simple yet so freakin' complicated. learning to exhale... i recently came across a saying and i have been using this as a mantra - Relax Breathe Surrender. I find that last word i struggled with the most. you don't really have a choice when the universe throws curve balls- sometimes you are not supposed to swing at them- sometimes your not supposed to try and catch them- you do need to watch for them so ya don't get smacked upside the head (but we all know they can come out of no where and do JUST that). i think with surrender-realizing everyone has struggles-ups-downs-battles-wars-problems-limitations. EVERYBODY. its what you do next. surrendering to the idea you have no freakin' control over what comes at ya- its what ya do with what comes, and your follow through, that's what influences the game. you also may need better gear-stronger helmet, heavier bat, a well oiled glove. remembering its a team sport. people are going to let you down, betray you, make mistakes... they will also be your rock, stand next to you, and help you along through this game called life.
i'm thankful. thankful i can feel love. see love. hear love. smell love. taste love. this helps me give love. this date is a bit magical... after all "we are all one". on 10-10-10, on 09-09-09, and on 08-08-08 the universe coming together...
=) makes my heart smile (=
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