September one
Chapter ONE
i have always ALWAYS been drawn to the "unlovable"... or what was seen/shown as "unlovable". i realized once i became facebook "friends" with some of my extended family, it isn't just me. the clan from which i come from finds beauty below the surface. looking past the disfigurement or horrific story and seeing the beautiful warrior that lays beneath.
this doesn't mean i don't enjoy snacking on eye-candy, because that would be a huge fib! who doesn't like seeing a beautifully sculpted man with a little bit of dirt in his eyes :) you like what you like, you love what you love-it's really that simple.
when your opinion matters. when you are younger you try to please/piss off the adults around you. its human nature, right? so it becomes difficult to determine what you really like, want, feel, see -whatever, fill in the blank. asking yourself, am i doing this for me or someone one else? don't get me wrong, influence is good, its necessary. but (a big but) its important to stand in your own truth. i'm not sure where i'm going with this or if i have made my point. ????
for a long LONG time i had this indescribable drive to prove "them" wrong. "them" being i don't even know who "them" are... faceless strangers and familiar humans, i guess. when "they" would tell me something or i felt that "they" believed something, it was like -challenge accepted i'm going to prove "them" WRONG. this is a HUGE part of my personal story. approaching life like this can be a little (a lot) dangerous and at the same time... freeing. because i've learned sometimes "they" were right and sometimes "they" were wrong, and i didn't take "their" word for it.
i have always appreciated people who are rough around the edges, the more difficult parts of the story, the less than perfect ending to a tale. equally i appreciate small soft simple moments... you love what you love. its really that simple.
i love:
- mornings (especially if its rained the night before)
- laughing to the point its hard to breath
- the sound of an acoustic guitar
- putting on brand new socks
- light bulb moments
- finding cash in your pocket that has made it through the laundry cycle
- the feeling of gesso on an altered book
- getting real hugs
- passing the time waiting by making up stories
- the UPS guy bringing packages
- cards in the mail
- making my hair stand up with shampoo, in the shower
- hearing a song 30 years later and knowing all the words
- fresh cotton sheets
- being inspired to try harder
- remembering where you put something
- remembering the name of the "thingamajig"
- the smell of sandalwood
- reusable sandwich bags
- having hard conversations that end in understanding
- good ear buds
- jeggin jeans
- white t-shirts
- black converse sneakers
- a good moisturizer
- new notebooks
- post it notes
- felt tip pens
- candles on cakes
- hanging your feet over the edge of the bridge and watching the water flow
- finding the point
- mason jars
- encouraging people
- NCIS on neflix with my morning coffee
- nurturing an idea into reality
- sharing my time with people i love
- hearing a story that changes/influences you instantly
- working hard
- lazy days
- witnessing growth
- when my boys tell me "thanks mom"
- family nights that involve food and games
- seeing people shine
- witnessing an act of kindness and the moments that happen next
- having a whole entire day with absolutely nothing planned :)
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