my word for 15 was hope. coming into 2015, i felt a little (a lot) beat up-physically and emotionally. i'm leaving this year a little wiser and a lot more hopeful.
where was my hope you might be wondering??? it was in all the kind words that were given to me. it has been in all the selfless gestures from humans near and far. my hope was wrapped around my wrist :) hope was given to me in boxes and screens. my focus was in search for the things that fill my cup...
what i realized is, my hope was hiding behind the cynical side of myself i never knew existed.
for as long as i can remember i have always wondered "whats wrong with me?' then i started wondering "what is wrong with them?" for the record i still have no idea who "them/they" are. then it shifted. my thought process changed ever so slightly and i realized there is only something wrong if i keep looking for something wrong. now don't get me wrong, i'm ridiculously optimistic but i'm also a realist. things change, and they stay the same. the key is to put down the measuring stick and simply count YOUR blessings and be YOUR best self (even if today you're a wreck).
simply.
this too shall pass.
you can't undo what you did, get caught up in what your gonna do... you can only do what you do :) only control what your doing right now. right now i'm typing words, for myself and who ever else wants to pay attention. i'm sharing what is on my mind, and hopefully influencing in a small way. i'm traveling my own journey, and dancing to the beat of my own drum. singing louder than i "should" and making up the words i don't know. laughing. showing up and being present.
this was the year i realized my happily ever after doesn't resemble what i thought it would. things changed- dreams change. right now, things are good. my ever after is still pretty stink'n happy :) i still worry about my clan-not in a nervous bite your nail kinda way-just a momma kinda of way. i wish for them to always be a little more than "okay" on the not so good days and i pray they hold tight to all of their happy.
my hope is those who i am lucky enough to meet will leave a little happier :)
what is in store for 2016... light. it only takes one little word.
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